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‘All right, not there yet? Wait, I am there, prepare for me to hit a bull’s eye on this head-scratcher. Here it is: My snarky opinions are not so inane as they first appear, and are in fact the musings of a keen renaissance intellect with a brilliant instinct for texture and composition.’ Kate was now unable to completely bottle up her mirth—it was sneaking out as a sort of Muttley the Dog hiss-laugh. She took advantage of her grip on my arm, trying, and mostly succeeding, at twisting it behind my back with some crazy Ju-Jitsu move. I started chortling as well, whirling and backpedalling to avoid the arm lock, and felt myself impact someone. It was one of the waiters who had been shuttling hors d’oeuvres around the gallery floor. ‘What the freakin…’ said the tuxedo-clad server, trying frantically to maintain control over a large, circular platter of drinks. ‘Oh shit, sorry, sorry…’ I said, reaching for the tray in an attempt to provide some assistance, hoping at the very least to. "Jesus, Faye. If you're this sick you have to be looking after yourself." What are you, my mum now?" She bent over the armchair next to the sofa, her wide hips and round bum framed nicely by her robe as she cleared the seat of detritus. "Sit down, eh?"I did as I was asked, trying to ignore the fact that among the newspapers and magazines she dumped on the floor was a dildo of considerable size. Even from here I could see a long pube stuck to it. Faye disappeared for a moment then returned. She placed an unmarked bottle and two glasses on the side table between the sofa and chair."I'm not really sick." She uncapped the bottle and poured into the tumblers. She handed one to me."What's this?" The liquid was colourless and odourless."Homebrew." She flopped onto the couch, her robe falling away and exposing a chunky but shapely thigh. She didn't seem to notice. "I've been making homebrew." I opened my mouth but she shushed me. "I'll explain in a minute, I promise, but first we need to.
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